The Awkward Meal
by Married To Matt
Summary: The Doctor cannot help but text River during a meal in a posh restaurant with Amy and Rory. He is just hoping they never find out what he is talking to her about.


**This was inspired by a fanfic I read some time ago and I thought it was a brilliant idea, so I've done my own version. Some of it carries on from my story 'A Surprise at the Cinema' so you might want to read that first :)**

Amy waltzed down the stairs into the console room, her elegant, floor length black dress flapping wildly behind her. She strolled up to Rory who had his back to her and slid her arms around his waist. The Doctor looked up from the scanner, rolled his eyes and put the TARDIS into flight.

"You can look now mister," Amy whispered into her husband's neck.

"Is it going to surprise me?" asked Rory

"Wait and see," Amy replied, smirking.

She let go of her husband and span him around until he was looking at her.

"So," she began, "Whatcha think?"

Rory's eyes flitted up her body taking in every aspect of it.

"Y-you look gorgeous," he told her leaning in for a kiss.

Amy placed her hands at the back of his neck and let her lips lock into his.

The Doctor tutted as he watched them kiss in _his_ TARDIS. It was humiliating for him. Deciding that it was time for the pair to stop, he swiftly made his way around the console and turned off the blue stabilisers. The TARDIS suddenly lurched causing the three of them to go hurtling to the floor.

Amy picked herself up and tidied her hair before walking up to the Doctor and playfully smacking his arm.

"Doctor! Can't you see we were busy!" she exclaimed.

"Yes," replied the Doctor, "That's why I turned the stabilisers off. We're here now anyway."

He barged past Amy and headed towards the TARDIS doors. Flinging them open he said "Come along Ponds!"

...

The Doctor, Amy and Rory sat around a circular table in a posh restaurant two million light years away from Earth. They had just ordered their starters when the Doctor felt a vibration in his pocket and reached in to grab his mobile phone.

Amy looked at him curiously and then smiled.

"Ooh Doctor, the last time I saw you with that was when we were at the cine-"

But the Doctor cut her off.

"Don't even mention that!" he snapped, his cheeks flushing slightly.

Amy smirked at Rory who shuddered remembering what he witnessed.

He opened the message. It was from River. That shouldn't surprise him as he did only have one contact.

_Sweetie, I haven't seen you in ages! Come here now, I've disabled the cameras so no one will be able to watch us ;) xxxx_

The Doctor briefly closed his eyes and sighed. He remembered what happened last time she had sent him a message like this.

"Who's it from?" questioned Amy smirking at the Doctor.

"I-um-an-an old friend of mine," he stuttered.

"Oh _really_!" said Amy, unconvinced.

"Yes," the Doctor snapped, "and even if it wasn't, what has it got to do with you Pond?"

"Woah there Raggedy Man!" Amy replied, "keep your TimeLord boxer's on!" she laughed.

He rolled his eyes and returned to his phone. If River was here with him now, she'd probably be telling him to do the exact opposite.

He tapped his response to River.

_I'm in a restaurant with your parents so stop texting me and go away, remember what happened last time you texted me when I was with them?_

The Doctor placed the phone face down on the table and was about to start a conversation with Rory when he heard the phone vibrate and he quickly snatched it back up.

_When you were at the cinema? Oh I do remember. You'll be laughing at it someday sweetie I'm sure. You still coming over tonight? We could do a bit of what you saw in the film if you want ;) xxx_

The Doctor coughed to hide some of his discomfort and looked up at Amy and Rory who were deep in conversation about the alien couple on the next table. The Doctor's attention went back to his phone and he replied:

_Yes when we were at the cinema... and River you bad bad girl! You are asking me to do...stuff with you when I'm having a meal with your parents! _

After about thirty seconds his phone vibrated again.

_Ooh, how awkward. You're sitting in a restaurant with my mother and father and all you can think about is fucking me, oh Doctor, you do amuse me xx_

The Doctor took a sharp intake of breath and frantically tapped his reply.

_I am thinking of no such thing young lady! _

But secretly inside he knew he wouldn't mind. He thought he was in love with River but he just never had the bravery to admit it. To be perfectly honest, he knew he would rather be in bed with River than at a posh restaurant with her parents. His phone buzzed and he opened the message rather quickly.

_Oh but sweetie, you are! I know you just want to be here with me with my arms wrapped around your neck and you being inside of me. Ooh, I'm getting wet just thinking about you thrusting deep into me. Come as quick as you can xxx_

That was _it._ He wanted River so badly and he wasn't going to hide his feelings for her now.

_Well maybe I am thinking about that Miss Song and I will come as soon as we're done here, I'm looking forward to it! X_

He sat there quietly anticipating a reply until Rory broke the silence.

"So go on," he began, "tell us who you're texting."

The Doctor's eyes widened. He couldn't tell them he was texting their daughter about sleeping with her later that night! What would they say?

"I already told you! An old friend!" he snapped.

"Yes Doctor," Amy began, "but _who_?"

The Doctor racked his brains trying to think of someone's name but all he could think about was what he was going to do with River that night.

"Y-you won't know who it is," he finally declared.

"But we'd still like to know Doctor," Rory pushed.

Glancing at her husband Amy carried on, "Yes, we'd like to know who is that important that you have to constantly text them whilst you're in a restaurant with us!"

"You don't know them Pond!" he shot back irritably, "and it's none of your business!"

Amy leant forward towards the Doctor and lowered her voice.

"If you don't stop using that tone with me we are leaving," she said crossly.

The Doctor huffed and said, "I think you keep forgetting that you are not _my_ mother you are River's."

"Yes," Amy replied, "but as you are practically in love with _my_ daughter, I might as well be your mother!"

Sulking the Doctor said, "I-I-I'm not in _love_ with River!"

Amy leant back in her chair and laughed.

The Doctor carried on, "and if you don't mind I just have to reply to this message and then I will put my phone away."

He looked back down at his phone and wasn't at all surprised to see that River had replied.

_Oh sweetie, you should be, I'm practically soaked here thinking about riding you tonight! I'm just sat here in my dripping wet underwear waiting for you to come (literally) ahaha xxxx_

The Doctor's pants suddenly became very uncomfortable and he sneaked a glance downwards. 'Damn that woman!' he thought as he tried to push his erection underneath his tight trousers down, but it was no good. He needed to be inside River right now. As soon as he was about to tap his response, the waiter came and placed a very nice looking plate of food in front of him that he would normally looking forward to digging into. But today he didn't care. He didn't even want this food. He wanted River.

_Oh River, I want you! I'll be over as soon as I can I promise! X_

He could feel himself getting harder as he thought more about River, the most beautiful person ever sat on her bed in only her underwear being very wet at the thought of him. The phone vibrated again and he read River's reply.

_Oh I want you too sweetie, I want you too xxxx_

The Doctor read the message and wasn't sure what to reply but a few seconds later, he received another message from River.

_P.S. I'm wearing the red lacy knickers, I know they're your favourites! And they're nice and wet here waiting for you ;) xxx_

The Doctor accidently let a moan escape from his mouth which gained a shocked stare from Amy and Rory. Before they could say anything he typed his answer to River.

_Oh River! Oh you bad bad girl! I'm going to make you scream tonight x_

The Doctor could feel himself getting harder and harder and hotter and hotter and he had to grip the top of his thighs tightly to stop himself from letting out another moan. But Amy and Rory had clearly noticed his distress.

"Doctor?" Rory asked him, "Are you okay? You haven't eaten any of your food and you're face is bright red. Are you ill or something?"

The Doctor could feel his hearts thumping beneath his chest. He had no idea how to wriggle out of this one.

"I-erm-no, no I'm fine," he stated, dropping his phone onto his lap and picking up his knife and fork. He thought he'd got away with it until his phone vibrated. Right on top of his erection. Another moan escaped from his lips and Amy raised her eyebrows. The Doctor looked down slowly to his lap and reached for his phone but Amy realised this too quickly.

"You've got your phone under there haven't you Doctor?" she accused.

She reached over the table to try and grab it from his lap but he quickly moved it so she couldn't touch it. Unfortunately, there was something else under there that he couldn't prevent her from touching. Amy let out a yelp and yanked her hand back away from the Doctor's lap, eying him very suspiciously.

"What was that for?" Rory asked her, puzzled.

Keeping her gaze at the Doctor she spoke softly, "You really don't want to know Rory."

With Amy still in utter shock, Rory turned to the Doctor.

"Look," he began, "We all know that you have your phone under there and Amy and I aren't bothered that you text other people. We'd just like you to be a bit more sociable when you're out for dinner with us."

The Doctor looked gloomily downwards and Rory carried on.

"So just reply to that message and then put your phone away, okay?" he said reasonably.

The Doctor nodded in agreement. He read River's message.

_Ohh sweetie, please do! I am going to make you moan tonight, begging for me xxxxx_

Feeling very hot, the Doctor replied.

_Look River I can't talk anymore, your parents are suspicious just wait for me to get there x_

The Doctor carefully placed his phone faced down on the table and looked up at Amy and Rory.

"Thank you Doctor," said Rory, "now hurry up and finish your food before it gets cold."

The Doctor agreed and shovelled a huge forkful of food down his throat.

"It's nice!" he said through a mouthful of food but he doubted Amy and Rory could tell what he was trying to say.

Rory smiled and shook his head but Amy narrowed her eyes at him, still trying to figure out what had made him get an erection.

As the Doctor shoved another forkful of colourful food down his throat, his phone vibrated on the table. He grumbled and said, "let me turn that off."

But Amy was ready. She reached across the table and snatched up his phone.

The Doctor waved his arms frantically in protest crying, "No Amy, Amelia, give that back!"

He stretched over the table trying to grab his phone back out of Amy's grasp but she held the phone behind her so the Doctor couldn't reach it.

"Give it back!" the Doctor shouted angrily causing many people around to look right at him, "it's private!"

Before looking at the phone, Amy said, "Well are you going to tell me who you've been texting or are you going to let me find out for myself?"

"I-I-I-erm," the Doctor began but it was too late. Amy had already opened the message. He watched as her eyes widened and she gasped. He saw her scrolling through the conversation with River and saw her anger building up inside her. The Doctor thought she was going to shout at him in front of the whole restaurant-that would be pretty humiliating, but then she did something that was even worse. She read out River's message very loudly before he had even read the reply himself.

"_Oh sweetie_," she began, "_don't worry. But just look forward to how much you are going to make me scream tonight! I might even let you use my handcuffs, if you're a good boy!"_

The Doctor felt his face turn fuchsia and noticed that everyone was staring at him.

Amy finished her sentence stressing the last part.

"_Kiss. Kiss. Kiss."_

She practically threw the phone back at the Doctor who caught it in midair and glared at him. The Doctor moved his eyes to look at Rory who looked in shock with his mouth hanging slightly ajar.

The Doctor stuffed the phone back into his inside pocket, got up from the table and ran out of the restaurant in embarrassment, not caring if people were looking at the large bulge in his trousers.

He thought he'd leave Amy and Rory to finish the meal alone.

As soon as he got back to the TARDIS, he hammered the co-ordinates for Stormcage into the scanner and darted about the console trying to get to his destination as quickly as possible. He was going to kill River.

**As I have only wrote 2 fanfics so far, reviews would be really helpful. Thank you for reading.**


End file.
